Find x

You have hopefully read the blog post titled 'In search...Of a fictional character'. You would then remember that it was originally written as an essay on a prompt by the University of Chicago. I am a fan of their prompts. They are simply too good! I am going to write essays on as many of them as I can, because they are so thought provoking, offbeat and interesting. This is the first of the lot. I know it is a bit too long, but please read on!

Find x

We were first introduced in Grade 6, me and x. As a variable that is; I have known x as an alphabet longer. I was nonchalant about this new acquaintance since I found mathematics’ penetrating arms into the realms of language quite annoying. I thought math should stick to numbers. I wasn’t particularly fond of math back then.

X then, to me, was just something which was a part of a question you had to solve. Find x. So you made x the subject of your equation and solved it. Period. I have been doing that ever since. The equations have become increasingly complex and x has made its appearance across different subjects. Evidently, x isn’t exclusive to mathematics. But what is most interesting about this simple little alphabet is the fact that countless people have been on a quest to find it. Through time, notwithstanding borders, across fields, despite setbacks and aided by answers.

X began as a representation of what you had to find in an equation: one value for linear equations, two for the quadratic ones. Eventually, x was also the velocity of the given body as it approached relativistic speeds; it was also the heat of formation of a compound; it was the refractive index of flint glass; it was the number of cells undergoing mitosis; it was quite simply, the representation of the unknown. It is used in the same fashion: to represent a mystery or a question, to represent an unknown something. In fact, the original reason as to why and how x came to represent the unknown involves ‘the something’. From what I understand, algebra in its original form in Arabic meant ‘the something’. But when these concepts reached Europe and Spanish scholars tried to translate it, they realized that the Spanish language didn’t have the required corresponding sound for pronunciation. By mutual consent, they turned to a certain Greek alphabet. And when those Spanish texts were converted to Latin for the rest of Europe, they assumed the form of ‘x’.

I never realized how closely I had begun to associate x with the unknown till I noticed that x was on my to-do list. The list quite simply said ‘find x’. I had instinctively used x to represent something I was supposed to assign a value to. I was researching spoilage rates and contamination levels for tomato. I wanted to know how many tomatoes from a given known quantity fell prey to decay. Was it 10 out of every 100? I needed to find a value for an unknown. I needed to find x. Simple, isn’t it?!

By a combination of convention (Descartes’ book in 1637) and habit, even in any scientific equation with multiple variables, the unknown is always represented by x. I am sure you have often heard or said “Say x was to do the following…” Again, x is representative of the arbitrary unknown. But I have begun to wonder. What is x?

I have come to believe that x isn’t the unknown. It is the representation of the unknown. Is that different? I believe so. X, by this belief, isn’t what you want to find; it is what makes you find it. It is not the answer, nor is it the question. X is the purpose behind the question. X is the drive to ask and then to know. We don’t fulfill a question by finding x. We fulfill our curiosity to know. X is our curiosity.

Does this make x any easier to find? On the contrary, this just turned x from an assigned representative of the unknown to an intangible. Then, x is no longer the number of rotten tomatoes or the refractive index or even the answer to the good old quadratic. That is why despite having found it so many times, and in so many forms, we still strive to find it. We are inspired by x, by the desire to know and understand.

Or probably, this new perspective makes it easier to find; it is then everywhere. It is in Stephen Hawking’s simply stated desire to know how everything in the universe functions. It is in a newborn’s questioning gaze of the world. It is in those angst-ridden lyrics which question purpose and reason. And of course, it is in those math questions which we solve by the dozen.

But this brings forth a more fundamental question. Does finding x involve knowing WHAT is x, or does it mean knowing WHERE is x? I am not so sure. I think x is purpose, the drive to see and to seek, to expound and to explore. X isn’t the person to a ‘who’; it isn’t a reason to a ‘why’; it isn’t an explanation to a ‘what’ and it isn’t a story to a ‘how’. It is what makes the who, the why, the what and the how. It is what drives the question mark. And as to its whereabouts, I think x is simply everywhere. Curiosity doesn’t really have a fixed residence, does it? But, if I believe I know what is x, and I believe I know where is x; I have found x, haven’t I?

The very basic nature of this elusive little crossed alphabet makes me think otherwise. Do I seek to know? Do I ponder over a question and seek an answer? Then, I haven’t found x as yet. I don’t think I ever can. I am always going to have another question. I love the question mark a bit too much. Are we, collectively, ever going to find x? Unknowingly, finding x is a daily, recurring, non terminating mission. You want to know something every day; you try to find x every day.

Till we lose the question mark, we will never find x. It is all pervading and always evading. X, the ever popular representation of the unknown, is what gives us purpose. Just imagine a day without feeling the need to know something. And that is why finding x is a global and eternal quest. We are always going to want to know. We are always going to ask. We are always going to find x, aren’t we?

To Kill A Mockingbird

If you had to describe ONE work of art that has influenced you, what would it be? And how would you explain that influence? This was the question I wrote for my application to the Washington and Lee University. I also used the same prompt for my application to Harvard University. Here is that essay:

“Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ‘em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

This line always makes me wonder whether I have understood all that Harper Lee poured in her book To Kill A Mockingbird. I read the book two years ago but every time I re-read the book, I feel there exists some part which I haven’t truly understood. That is the power of this book, a true classic. It seems attainable, understandable, but yet there always seems to be some aspect of the book that makes me feel as if there is more to it. Like a true work of art, it only gives a fleeting impression of understanding the creator, but that fleeting impression in itself is powerful enough to influence countless people. In its elusiveness, lies its overwhelming influence.

I had read a lot about the book before I read the book. 2010 was the 50th year of the book’s release, and a long list of articles in a variety of publications caught my eye. Columnists talked about how the book influenced them, about how the book hasn’t still been out of print. I was intrigued. I wanted to read the book which had literally moved the world. If people talked about how the book still influenced them, years after reading it, I was definitely reading it!

I was deeply influenced too. The book is powerful and charming; honest and pleasant; humorous and humane. Harper Lee talks about issues which challenge adults through the eyes of eight year old Scout Finch; a girl with whom I could completely relate. Lee takes a stand and sticks to it, but in a pleasantly affirmative manner. The book can bring a tear to your eye and a smile on your lips both with effortless ease; you never realize how involved you get till Boo Radley puzzles you and Bob Ewell disgusts you. Set in the nondescript town of Maycomb, To Kill A Mockingbird is about accepting diversity and celebrating humanity. What I especially like about the book is how it never shies from reality. Scout’s father, a lawyer Atticus Finch, chooses to defend a black man against the very vocal wishes of his neighborhood because he knows it is the right thing to do. He strongly believes in his profession, in the “integrity of courts [being] a working, living reality” as he strives to maintain his sense of justice despite challenges. He is heroism personified; a character I look up to, a person I wish to be.

Channeled through the lenses of Atticus, Harper Lee effortlessly highlights how life and situations change but how morals remain unchanged. Through a series of lovable characters, she paints a portrait of diversity enclosed with a community which doesn’t seem to tolerate it. She questions how some people are considered “fine people”; is education, land ownership or social reputation the parameter? She shows how transient opinions can be, when viewed from different perspectives. She lets Scout Finch explore; she lets her fight with her father and argue with her aunt; she lets her think and speak her mind; she makes her question why it is acceptable to hate Adolf Hitler but unacceptable to discriminate against Afro-Americans. It is through the eyes of Scout that Harper Lee takes the liberty to explore, and eventually define moral grounds.

But, most importantly, the book transcends borders and cuts across generations. Moral conflicts will always remain, integrity will be challenged, and decisions will be questioned. By addressing such pertinent issues, the book never loses its charm. Its poignancy is captured by the fact that it questions what humanity should do when ethics cross and ideals intersect.

The book influences me because of a plethora of reasons. I connect to the challenges described, and the moral conflicts highlighted. The largest influence though is Atticus Finch. He inspires through his ethical aloofness and lovable fathering. He is a man of honor, which is what makes the book what it is. It represents ideals, not through idealism, but through realism. It motivates one to stick to ethics, to form a belief and hold onto it irrespective of the consequences. I believe everyone should aim to be what the book describes: a human being of integrity, humanity and humility. Little wonder then, that at the end of the book, Scout Finch believes that “… [We would] get grown but there wasn’t much else left for us to learn, except probably algebra.”

Without a doubt, To Kill A Mockingbird is an example I strive to emulate, a book which inspires and amuses with amazing ease; a perfect role model.

In search...Of a fictional character

I wrote this essay as a part of my application to the University of Chicago for Fall 2013. Waldo is a fictional character in a series of books for children. The aim is to find him (wearing his characteristic striped shirt) from among a plethora of other amusing and odd collection of objects and people. For reasons I hope will be apparent, I am extremely fond of this essay. It is the product of a lot of discussion with my parents, grandparents and teachers; a product of lot of thought, emotion and effort.

So where is Waldo, really?

Is he hidden among the countless animated objects, masked by images of symbolism, unseen till you really hunt for him? Or is he always just there, peeping from behind tents, dancing in circuses with an amused grin? Is he always in that characteristic striped shirt of his? 

Who is Waldo really?

Waldo is definitely more than a fictional character from a fictional series. He is a manifestation of the unknown and unfounded, constantly being searched. To me, Waldo is a manifestation of the ‘hidden you’. He is all that one can be, wishes to be, strives to be, but isn’t yet. Waldo may be visualized as a mini-version of yourself or as the angel-devil role-plays in Tom & Jerry. He exists, but is hidden. Often, you are unaware of his existence and oftener, you choose to ignore it. The Hindi poet Kabir has described a kind of Waldo, in one of his most famous couplets. He speaks about a musk deer that searches high and low, curious about the source of the famed scent. Little does the deer realize that it is the source, and so continues to search ignorant of its own capabilities. While Kabir wished to illustrate that God lies within, I feel his couplet answers questions about Waldo’s whereabouts.

So, where is Waldo?

Quite simply, he is within. While the world looks for him amidst clusters of unnecessary details, he lies nonchalantly, in no hurry to reveal himself. He isn’t going to make any efforts, nor is he going to budge an inch out of his hiding place. You will have to walk the extra mile, penetrate deeper, reflect more, question oftener and pursue harder. Because, Waldo lies within.

But, just the way Waldo hides differently at different points in the book; everyone has a different Waldo which they find at different times, at different places, doing different things. So while Pele’s Waldo lived on the football grounds, Federer’s Waldo lives at Wimbledon. My father’s Waldo stays in a classroom, my mother’s sits at her table with her as she helps people with their troubles. My aunt’s Waldo accompanies her as she travels to distant villages to create opportunities for women empowerment.

So, where is my Waldo?

I am looking for him. I know he is within, so I am not looking through the unnecessary clusters. I think I know what he does. He stays in a world of logic and thought, resides in a place called a laboratory. Through a series of experiences and events, I have come to realize that I would love to pursue scientific research. One of my teachers has molded my view of the sciences significantly. When the Nobel Prize for Biology was announced this year, he explained how biology was based on chemistry, which has been known to depend on physics which is said to be applied mathematics. So, he would say that science isn’t demarcated by subjects, but is one unified whole. I strongly follow this belief of his. I love physics for its logical analysis (my favourite being classical mechanics), chemistry for its reactions and aromatic structures (benzene’s the best!), biology for its relevance in understanding the world (genetics specially fascinates me) and mathematics for its sheer beauty in figures (I love calculus). But, what I have learnt to appreciate the most is the interface where these meet, at a point whose coordinates aren’t really known, but aren’t the assumed ‘random point in space’ either. My Waldo is somewhere at the intersection. He doesn’t know which road to take, but he isn’t lost. Just a tad bit confused.

My Waldo loves it when I give him his place of honour. This happens when I go out of my way to understand, to explore and to know. It may be through experimentation, through trial and error or through questioning. He appreciates when I discover something myself. In Grade 10, I had developed an outlandish mathematical ‘theorem’ of my own. It was an elaborate idea, linking the even powers of the number five and the last two digits of the exponential product. Though my find was already known to mathematicians (crushing my hopes of having a theorem of my own!), my Waldo was glad of my curiosity and joyous discovery.

So, what I am going to do with my Waldo?

Since I have found my Waldo residing in the laboratory, I am going to give him a free hand there. He is going to join me as I learn further and explore, as I challenge myself to do better and find greater purpose. Waldo is going to explore the depth of classical mechanics and calculus, organic chemistry and genetics, or a combination thereof. He is going to learn to create more, express himself better, write better, know more and know better. He is joining me on a roller coaster, and neither of us is complaining. Rather, we are enjoying!

Waldo is within and without. Within, he lies crouched as a manifestation of oneself. Without, he hides, waiting for one to find purpose and eventually success. You won’t find him without till you look within. And since he loves to hide and is different for different people, the red and white stripes may not always be the best indication.

So, where is Waldo really?

Find him! My Waldo lies within MY world of science and mathematics. Where’s yours?